London, England

London has 3 basic types of fixed rail transit: the famous London tubes (subway), the automated Docklands Light Rail (DLR), and the newest addition, the 28 km Croydon Tramlink (LRT). There are also several electric underground lines that are hybrids between modern subway lines and commuter lines, such as the new Heathrow Express airport line and ThamesLink. There is also a people mover that resembles a subway at Gatwick Airport

 Below are genuine announcements made by tube drivers, on the London Underground.
 
To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon):
"Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers off the train FIRST! Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I'm going home."

"Ladies & Gentleman, upon departing the train may I remind you to take your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public transport and not a bin on wheels"

"Ladies and Gentlemen do you want the good news first or the bad news?" "The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card."
"The bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination. We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started. In the meantime if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside you or opposite you." "Let me start you off: "Hi, my name's Gary how do you do?""

"Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close...The doors reopen. "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again, shall we? Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you."

"I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits."


cover Docklands Light Rail Official Handbook
  
  • Pictures of London Transport, by Jeroen Morrien
  • London Transport Home Page
  • Tube Main Index Page
  • Map of London Underground
  • London Transport Museum
  • London Underground - Jubilee Line Extension
  • Docklands Light Rail
  • Croydon Tramlink
  • More on Croydon Tramlink from RailInfo
  • RailInfo's East London line page
  • London's proposed Express Metro
  • London's post office subway
  • The London Underground Railway Society
  • The London Underground
  • Railway Technology - London Underground Ltd Jubilee Line Extension - United Kingdom
  • Railway Technology - Heathrow Express High Speed Rail Link - United Kingdom
  • London Underground Tube Station Maps
  • Heathrow Express
  • ERS Images
  • Maps from all over the London tube, over 100 of them!
  • David Connor's Tribute to the Victoria Line
  • The Picadilly Line
  • ERS Croydon Tramlink photos
  • Going Underground
  • DLR Home Page 
  • Dodger's DLR Fan Page
  • Railway Technology - Docklands Light Rail and Millennium Link - United Kingdom
  • Croydon Tramlink - The Unofficial Pages

  • Croydon, London tube and DLR pages from CityTranz subfan site Mark Jansen